I stood in front of my closet, face-to-face with the sparkly silver dress I had been saving for the “right” moment. But, the right moment appeared to have been hiding deep in my closet.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like the dress or that it fit weird. I loved the dress. It was something I found a year ago while vintage shopping in Florida, and I still have yet to wear it — unless trying it on in the store counts.
As the sparkly fabric stared at me, I began to think about how many people like myself let things go to waste over the pressure of finding the right time — or rather, the fear of picking the wrong time. I felt a looming feeling wash over me as I looked around my room at all the items that had collected dust.
The dress was not just off limits from myself, but also from anyone else. My friends would come over and ask to wear it and I would say no, that I was “saving it for the right moment.” I developed the fear that I would waste my first time wearing the dress. However, as it sat in my closet, I realized that was exactly what I was doing: I was letting it go to waste by never wearing it.
Why am I so hesitant to wear or use new things that I bought? It wasn’t just the dress in my closet that sat hanging lifelessly; it was books, new makeup, nail polish and even shoes that were being neglected. I was letting all these things in my life waste away because of my fear of not picking the right time. Whether it was my time, money or experiences, my fear of wasting is what continued to prevent me from using these items — as crazy as that sounds.
This phenomenon was coined as the “specialness spiral” by Professor Jonah Berger from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. According to Berger, people create a cycle by putting off using ordinary items they have purchased, which in return makes those items feel more special than they are. My inclination to avoid using new products I bought was further encouraging me to continue to avoid those products.
Essentially, I was assigning these items in my life a set of unrealistic standards based on finding the “perfect time” — but there are no perfect times. The concept of a “right time” is normally used to describe relationships, claiming the common phrase “right person, wrong time.” Someone can meet their perfect person, but outside factors like conflicting schedules, locations or occupations might pull them apart. In my case, the outside factors pulling me from my perfect dress were my own fears.
The silver sparkling fabric hanging in my closet, the books on my desk and the unused eyeshadow palette, do not care whether or not they are used on a slow Tuesday afternoon or a busy Friday night. I have made great memories in outfits I hated, loved books I read during the busiest times in my life and done my makeup flawlessly on the most boring days. In my attempt to control reality, I lost hundreds of chances to use the things I cherished.
So, the next time I open my closet to find something to wear I am not going to run away from that sparkly silver dress. I don’t want these items to live in a museum that no one is allowed to touch; I want them to become a part of me and my history.
Read the book, use the makeup and wear the dress.
Katelyn Holsten is a junior majoring in English with a concentration in creative writing and a minor in writing. Outside of class, she is a copyeditor for VIM magazine and The State News.